Here listen:

I feel everything being flipped around, and I wonder why it had to take me one year to realize and pinpoint exactly why. It turns out that I feel so, painfully, excruciatingly confused, because I think that everything I thought was right is now punished, and everything I thought was wrong is now rewarded. Collecting sins is an adventure, waiting will not make the prince come, and holding back just isn't the thing anymore. Just when I thought that holding back versus trying thing was just a topical thing, the one person on the other side of the moon that I thought would honor the idea of holding back actually gave up on the idea that holding back was the thing to do.

I realized that everyone else but me was right. Being passive is wrong. Nothing is going to come fall down from the sky. But I also noticed that I forgot the asking nicely to god part. I stopped pleading after I got admitted to uni. No more bounties dropping from the sky, grown from the ground, brought closer when afar, brought easy when hard, or turned good when bad. It's also equally wrong to stop hoping, stop asking.

I am a passive that doesn't ask for syid.

Well.

By the way, this is like, ultra stupid and ultra immature, but I felt really betrayed when I saw the person I chose as rolemodel stop holding back. I thought they would, you know, be fucking classy and chastise and shit, but no. I was just left here being a sad fangirl that thought oppa walked on water. But it didn't happen.

Well.

Donna will learn how, because the mouth that doesn't ask doesn't get fed. :|